Molly J. Ringwraith

I still am in the middle of Deathly Hallows, but luckily naill_renfro has finished it--and parodied it in hilariously concise form! (Or at least the early chapters certainly are good. I had to shield mine eyes from the rest.)

Go here to see.

I'm going to write a parody as well, because I can't stop myself, and also because more comedy is always better.

Have a good weekend!

I haven't watched the whole film yet, but this opening video from Music and Lyrics is a little piece of parody gold (and silv-ah-ah-er!). I say this as one who remembers when videos like this were actually new, and not just something shown on '80s flashback specials.



This performance gives me new fondness for Hugh Grant. Not only does it turn out he can actually sing, but it takes special talent to make that much of a dork of yourself. I'm going to come out and say it: I like Hugh Grant. That's right, I do! And I always have! So there.

To return to Lord of the Rings for a moment:

Whether or not you've ever played D&D or similar games (I haven't really, for instance), you should have a look at this, which is a hilarious take on the question, "What if LOTR was acted out by D&D players?" Graphic novel form, lots of pages, still continuing!

Kudos to creator Shamus Young, and to astroman_rich for bringing it to my attention.

I have, really really belatedly, just discovered naill_renfro's parody of the Goblet of Fire film. Go here to enjoy! Comes complete with tie-ins to Lord of the Rings and the Princess Bride, ruthless snipes at shippers of all types, and some lines in actual French!

Samples:

SIRIUS: The budget wouldn’t cover a big black dog for this movie, even a CGI one, let alone Gary Oldman. So in this movie I’m being played by a five-pound bag of charcoal briquettes and three ounces of lighter fluid.

INT. TENT:
HERMIONE: *hugs Harry*
HMS HARMONY: *launches celebratory fireworks*
J.K. ROWLING: Don’t get your hopes up.
RITA SKEETER: *acts creepy*
VIKTOR KRUM: Out, creepy journalist, or I crush you like insect!

HARRY: Cho!
CHO: Harry!
HARRY: Wngobalwifme?
CHO: ?
HARRY: Might you do me the honor of accompanying me to the Yule Ball?
CHO: Och, Ae’m sorry, Harry, Ae canna’. Ae’ve already sid Ae’ll goo wi’ someone else.
HARRY: Who?
CHO: Wi’ mae cousin, Peregrine Took, if ye mus’ know.

*joy and giggles*

You are all jealous, because my sister crocheted me a Gryffindor scarf. Conveniently, Gryffindor's colors are also my high school's colors (that is, the high school I graduated from in '92--I'm no longer that young), so I have an excuse to be geeky and wear it. She might even take commissions if you want one yourself, perhaps in other Hogwarts house colors. Shouldn't run you more than $10 each. Sleepy baby not included. Find her here for more info.

Regarding "Lost," sorry I didn't have anything to say about last week's episode. I will mention that ( (spoilers) ) But if you want some amusing sum-ups in poetry form, I recommend dirae's work:
Season 3 premiere, in William Carlos Williams style
Episodes 3.02 and 3.03, Ezra Pound and William Blake style, respectively

Enjoy!

OK, so I already linked to the faux preview of Romance of the Jedi, in which Star Wars Ep. 3 is given the Brokeback Mountain treatment.

On that entry, an anonymous commenter provided a link to Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire getting the same treatment. ("Don't ask, don't spell.")

Yesterday kalquessa pointed out this preview for Brokeback to the Future, which is something I never thought I would see, and indeed which would have never have entered my mind (but was funny all the same).

And now I stumbled across The Empire Brokeback, which, being about droid love, is so, so wrong. (And yes. Funny too.)

I don't have time to go searching around the web for any more of these, so how about you guys just bring them to me? Come on, let's get them all out of the closet--all the Brokeback-ized false previews lurking around out there--just post links here. Thank you. You are my density.

For your giggle factor this V-Day, kindly mosey over to Photoshop Phriday's collection of Star Wars Valentines. Very amusing.

Many thanks to kalquessa for bringing that to my attention.

*flings chocolates*

I still haven't seen The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, but now I don't have to, because naill_renfro has conveniently written up this condensed parody version! Go give him some applause.

Samples:

Mrs. BEAVER: My husband and I are filling in as comic relief. The Weasley twins couldn’t make it.

ASLAN: Let’s go have a secret conference.
GOOD CGI PEOPLE, PEVENSIES, and AUDIENCE: I wish I knew what they were talking about.
NEIL GAIMAN: Well, okay, but you’re not going to like it.
(hee hee!)

And complete with 'Princess Bride' reference:

LUCY: Luckily Father Christmas gave me this magical healing potion. Here you go, Edmund. I wonder if anyone else needs some? I wonder if there might have been fewer seriously wounded if some lions I could name had gotten a move on and killed certain witches a bit earlier?
SUSAN: Don’t pester him with so many questions. Take it easy; he’s been dead.
LUCY: Right, right, sorry.

Good show! Now you know you'll have to do the rest of them, naill_renfro, or people will pester you forever. ;)

This is from long ago--2003, if you can remember back that far. I came across it in my archives today and it made me smile, so here you go. Transcript of Jiminy Glick (Martin Short) interviewing Elijah Wood in the LOTR heyday...

( Jiminy skewers Elijah )

Okay, I didn't think it was possible to write a good parody of Goblet of Fire (the movie) on the grounds that it was already funny. But sarahtales has done just that.

I recommend going here and reading it. (Though from the look of how many comments and friends she has, you've already done so.)

Excerpt to give you a flavor:
DUMBLEDORE: And the contestants are Viktor 'Too Sexy For His Broom' Krum, Fleur 'Voulez Vous Coucher Avec Moi' Delacour, Cedric 'Handsome As the Devil, But Perfectly Divine' Diggory, and... Harry 'What the Fuck Is Going On Here?' Potter!

*grin* Good work, ma'am.

What happens when you edit movie clips in a misleading fashion, and add appropriate music? Well, you get:

Star Wars: Episode III as an, uh, "alternative lifestyle" romance (the Cher song really makes it work, I think),

West Side Story as a horror/thriller,

And The Shining as a warm-hearted family film.

Pretty great all around. Kudos to their creators.

And for those who like to read their jokes, an oldie-but-I'm-not-sure-I-ever-posted-it-goodie: Lord of the Rings as written by other authors. For instance, how Gene Roddenberry's take on it might have looked (even though the page misspells it "Roddenbury"):

"The Halflings, cap'n, they will na take the strain."

"Strider, we've got to get out of this snow. Legolas, did you get a reading on that creature?"

"Fascinating, Captain. It appears to be an unknown creature that lurks in the pool waiting for passing strangers. Ecologically implausible, captain."

"Do you know what it is?"

"I believe I said it was unknown, Dr Gimli. Logically, if I knew what it was, then it wouldn't be unknown."

"Cap'n, we're in some sort of temporal warp, stretching and deforming the plot. The snow should take place a day before our encounter with this beastie."

"Captain, what are we going to do."

"Boromir, put on that red armour."....

Øystein Bech Gadmar, ever patient and industrious, has taken into account several of the suggestions and nit-picks from the previously posted Princess Bride/LOTR crossover, and now presents to you a final (?) version, available and looking tidy at:

http://folk.uio.no/obech/Files/TPB+LotR_Kissing_Book.htm

Tell your friends; bring your kids; spread the news. Great work, one and all.

In an unrelated note, my Tolkien calendar speaks today of the Dwarf-Road, and says, "The Edain entered Beleriand in this way, and so did bands of ravishing Orcs." Indeed.

ORC 1: Ashknughd, you look ravishing today! Is that a new breastplate?
ORC 2: Why, yes - thank you - it is. You like it? Really?
ORC 1: Adore it. Oooh, it's so leathery! What's it made of?
ORC 2: Roadkill. Fresh last week.
ORC 1: You find the best deals. I'm so jealous.
ORC 2: Oh, don't be silly. I so wish I had your hair.
ORC 1: No! This old mess? You do?
ORC 2: Absolutely. What do you use on it? Skunk fat?
ORC 1: Oh - just blood. Ox if I can get it; usually only squirrel.
ORC 2: Truly? Well, it looks fabulous on you! I wish mine did that.
ORC 1: Oh, you do not. You're such a flatterer.
ORC 2: No, I mean it! I think you're the ravishing one in our army. I've always thought so.

Yeah, okay, that's enough. *wanders off*

Sometimes I need to see something goofy and funny after a day of deep, difficult thoughts and tasks. Luckily Sara S. emailed me just the link:

They're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard!

2-minute music video created by Erwin Beekveld. Requires Windows Media Player. Completely clean; totally silly. Kind of similar to the "What's Taters, Precious?" mix from a while back, if you remember that.

Many thanks, Sara.

Here's hoping we don't all crash the server.

You may remember, a while back, I received an LOTR/Princess Bride parody crossover from DeVee, and posted it here. Many of us added our own funny quotes, though it was never quite put into any particular order. Well, Øystein Bech Gadmar just emailed me this--the full LOTR film trilogy script, as told through Princess Bride quotations. This is pretty much total brilliance. I'll post it as the talented ØBG sent it:

--------
Is This A Kissing Book?( Read more... )

I have indeed finished the 6th Harry Potter book, and am very impressed. It's not often you get a series where the books actually get better as they go along. Still, I will wait a couple more days before going all spoilery on you. In fact, what I'm thinking of doing--when my husband is done reading the book, and I can get it back from him--is writing a condensed parody version of the book. A few lines per chapter, you know. That way, those who don't have time to read the book can get the sum-up. ;)

Anyhow, that will take me a fair amount of time, so I don't know when I'll deliver it. But in the meantime, rachel2205 has posted a cute list of reasons it's good to be a Muggle:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/rachel2205/485819.html

At the moment it doesn't include any serious spoilers. Go chuckle and add your own.

darthbeckman started this list of things that will happen in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. (It's okay; these are not the spoilers you're looking for.)

1. Potter gets into trouble at home. The Dursleys yell at him.
2. Potter returns to Hogwarts via some wacky gadget or scary detour.
3. The kids are introduced to some horrible critter that only Hagrid could love.
4. Dumbledore drops mysterious clues about what's going on.
5. The Defense against the Dark Arts teacher has a secret.
6. It turns out Lord Voldemort is behind all of the weird goings on.

Much amused with these, I added:
7. Harry breaks some school rules.
8. Fred and George conjure up some mischief.
9. Draco comes up with derogatory nicknames for Harry, Hermione, and/or Ron.
10. Fifty points will be taken from Gryffindor for something totally unfair.

What else will there be? Join in.
Please do not post actual rumors or spoilers, out of consideration for those wishing to remain unspoiled. We're looking for the predictable themes we know and love, here.

P.S. Remember I did this kind of thing with LOTR too, so I'm not, repeat not, slamming the HP books. This is an exercise in affection. Note the "know and love," there.

Sorry for my prolonged absence here. Been busy for many a reason (see lemonlyelit for just one). But I found you a good funneh today:

Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, Engrish subtitles. Even more incoherent than the ones for LOTR, looks like. Put down the beverages before clicking.

evadne_noel has written a hilarious breadbox edition of Revenge of the Sith. Go lavish praise upon her.

I can't believe I never saw this till tonight.

Boromir's brilliant idea for catapulting the Ring into Mordor. Animated GIF. Author unknown. If we flood that site, a Google on something like "catapult mordor boromir animated" will turn up several other places it's hosted. Verreh verreh funneh.

Also check out One Does Not Simply Walk Into Mortor [sic]. Originally brought to my attention here.

All right, don't flame me for posting this. I wasn't going to originally, out of respect for the diverse rainbow of political opinions around here--for I do not like political debates--but this little short film is becoming hugely popular on the web, so I feel I ought to mention it to you. Besides, I think it's hilarious, and a brilliant satire. So, you may want to go over here and check out "Fellowship 9/11."

Synopsis:
Michael Moore's searing examination of the Aragorn administration's actions in the wake of the tragic events at Helms Deep.
With his characteristic humor and dogged commitment to uncovering - or if necessary fabricating - the facts, Moore considers the reign of the son of Arathorn and where it has led us.
He looks at how - and why - Aragorn and his inner circle avoided pursuing the Saruman connection to Helms Deep, despite the fact that 9 out of every 10 Orcs that attacked the castle were actually Uruk-hai who were spawned in and financed by Isengard.
---
It's worth it just for Representative Wormtongue.

Please do not leave politically barbed comments here. Thank you. :)